{"id":219,"date":"2013-02-08T23:28:16","date_gmt":"2013-02-08T23:28:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/julicidal.com\/?p=219"},"modified":"2013-02-08T23:28:16","modified_gmt":"2013-02-08T23:28:16","slug":"if-i-were-a-female-bukowski","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/?p=219","title":{"rendered":"If I Were a Female Bukowski"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"mwbw-bukowski\"<\/a><\/p>\n

They all want me<\/b><\/p>\n

In bars
\nIn cafes
\nOn long walks to the farmer’s market
\nAt the gym
\nAt parties<\/p>\n

Even the men at work.<\/p>\n

And occasionally
\nI give in
\nOn behalf of hormones
\nOr my ego nagging for a contact high
\nOr just because I want a set of solid arms<\/b><\/p>\n

Wrapped around me
\nIn the middle of a dark
\nAnd unfilled night
\nThat clings like cellophane
\nTo the death of
\nAnother unsigned soul<\/p>\n

Often, it is the booze.<\/b><\/p>\n


\nBut
\nOnce they have me
\nI am no longer desired
\nI am a star shooting across the sky
\nThat disappears
\nAnd dies upon re entrance
\nI am reduced to an occasional nod
\nThe muted whisper as I walk by
\nKnowing
\nThat despite beauty
\nOr talent
\nOr the brain of a smart man
\nI am a hole<\/p>\n

That is filled
\nOnly if some lad is clever
\nWith his choice of phrasing
\nAs he hands me a beer<\/p>\n

Or if there is enough beer
\nAnd his words
\nFall deaf upon my ears;
\nIt flowers from my charity<\/b><\/p>\n

Or a sense of bleakness in the air<\/p>\n

Lime and salt
\nAnd the lights fade to dim<\/p>\n

And the nights get longer
\nAnd the phone is quieter
\nAnd the mirror distorts and convinces me
\nI am not worth
\nTheir love<\/p>\n

I become bitter and use them
\nFor bad poems
\nAnd orgasms<\/p>\n

And the chance to turn my head one last time<\/p>\n

And smile
\nBut not say goodbye<\/p>\n

That way they never know
\nIf I was something they lost
\nOr something they conquered<\/p>\n

Or something that ate them alive.<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

They all want me In bars In cafes On long walks to the farmer’s market At the gym At parties Even the men at work. And occasionally I give in On behalf of hormones Or my ego nagging for a contact high Or just because I want a set of solid arms Wrapped around me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=219"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":222,"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions\/222"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/julicidal.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}